Saturday, September 25, 2010

I have no idea what I'm doing...

I have no idea what to do with a blog...other than to read them.  But the idea is appealing - a way to chronicle the every day moments that are soooo mundane but are going to pass us by in no time.  After watching my first baby turn into a three year old in 10 seconds, I know I'm going to want this time back when it's gone.  In the meantime, I do what I can to soak it up.  Tonight I sat in the playroom with Megan and Hannah for 30 minutes.  Even though it's Saturday, that's all I fit in.  We played sporadically throughout the day, but the 30 minutes was the longest stretch.  Where does the time go?  Ask my stupid washing machine - it may play mute, but the damn thing knows.  Anyway, I digress.  Megan and I had a baby fashion show.  We dressed up her dolls, and got a little carried away and even dressed up her baby sister.  It was so much fun.  Megan giggled, which is completely infectious.  It spread to not only her baby sister and me, but also to Daddy, in the next room.  I was there, present and aware that it was precious, for that moment, and that counts. 

So, this is heavy.  I didn't necessarily mean for it to be that way, but I have this completely blessed life that at times (most of them) overwhelms me.  The last time I checked, I was about 15.  And now I am sooo not 15, and the reality of that makes my head spin.  I want to take my kids and freeze them, otherwise they will be blogging before I know it and I will then automatically be old.  I'm quite aware that I need to enjoy every moment, and I think I make a good effort at that - yet, they still get bigger.  Darn kids.

I guess I should provide a little background, maybe?  I am not lying when I say that I don't know how this blog thing works.  Anyway...our little family of four consists of the Mister (Kyle), me (Nicole, or Nicki to those who met me before 2000), Megan Elaine (age 3, going on 22), and Hannah Marie (our  newest addition, born in April of this year).  We also have a dog (who almost counts as a child, not only because we love her that much, but because she requires more work than the two of them combined - our Lacey, 100% beagle, for better or for worse) and two cats, Joey and Jordan (NOT named after New Kids on the Block, I swear).  Kyle and I got married in August 2005.  We had Megan in June 2007 - though she was born only 2 days early, she was about a year premature in our minds, bless the little "surprise", followed by Hannah in April 2010.  We think we're done, though that's a hard statement for me to make at the age of 29, not because I desire another pregnancy or hospital stay, but because I can't say with 100% certainty that I wouldn't welcome another Megan or Hannah (please note that a boy version would certainly not be sent back), and I feel like if I did say that, I would immediately be declared a fossil and sent immediately to mid-life status.  I'm not ready for that.  I don't even want to be 30.  (Please note that if you are 30 I certainly do not think that you're old, I'm just having a hard time with joining your ranks, simply because I think that 30 leads immediately to 35 and Mom jeans, followed shortly thereafter by 40, which I'm not even willing to speak of in context of myself at this point).

Holy rambling, but I guess that's what this is.  I like it.  It's our story - boring as it is.  And it's something for me - cathartic, an outlet, etc.  I'm a good writer who's never had an interesting story to tell, and that's fine by me.  I just like to do the writing.  I don't care who reads it - this is free, but it's mine.  I'm a working mom who's too busy to be there for all the moments I'd like to be, but who would at least like to be able to write down the ones I catch, and I like the idea of having something of my own that's not work and not kids.  Though I am 110% in love with and thankful for my family, I am still just me.

I might try to post some pictures, only because I know that other people have them on their blogs and I feel as though I should be capable of figuring this out...right?